Insights (Orig posted 21 Sept 2007)

Well these have been a bunch of weeks of worry and sadness and dissapointments etc etc etc. No job, no friends, no money, no family, no future, nada nada nada! Things that u used to enjoy doing are not that exciting anymore, the few friends that occassionally appear on the surface do not manage to cheer u up, you see how other people are ridiculously more successful, more attractive, happier, etc, you pray like a robot and question whether there is actually an answer for everything or it's just that some people are destined to be stranded in the middle of nowhere for ever...

I was hopeless...

And then it hit me...

I was hopeless!! hopeless??!! I don't think I've ever been there before! It's always been a bit sad, or angry, or worried, but never hopeless!!! And that worries me because a proper religious catholic person cannot be hopeless!! Was I really giving up on God??? He's given me so much and I'm just being a whiny bitch that's just not getting what she wants!!!

Yeah here it was... my answer. I had to find my hope back. That afternoon, I got the news that I was having an interview for a job :D

I realise that giving up on hope was giving up on my faith in God and what He knows is good for me, cos believe he knows that much better than I do! And while I was celebrating the return of my hope, I finally understood one of the most important lessons in Religious Studies in School: The Theological Virtues: Faith, Hope and Love.

Without Faith there is never Hope, and if there is no Hope it is impossible to Love. Without Love, life is worthless...

So yeah, my life hasn't theoretically changed from last week, I'm still unemployed, with less money, still no family around... but I got my Hope back!!!! :D

And also... "She" by Elvis Costello, defines me perfectly.... what a song!!!